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Lock pick

I have found out being a parent I have found new skills and other dormant skills have awoken after a long period of rest. Do your kids ever lock a door out of spite or maybe messing around and forget then shut the door locking everyone out? Yeah, my kids do that a lot. I am not sure which child it was but my guesses are down to two and just like their initials I want to scream AARH or ARH depending on the devious minded child in my cross hairs. One child locks the door just to be a funny turd but the lesser ARH is by far a master at manipulation and trying to see how things work. Now, on to the story or as I like to call it. "Dad's situational awareness" or as Rocky thinks. "Dad are you paying attention? I am really going to test your skills this time." I just happened to be doing something trying to get out of my children's bedroom, yes, that place really scares me. (On a side note to prove a point Rocky just climbed up on the toilet lifted the lid of...
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Craziness

A thousand pardons. I haven't written in awhile. I have just sat back and enjoyed my children and their funny antics. (Amanda says they come by crazy naturally from me) I love these crazy kids even though Rocky strips his diaper and insists on going outside with his twig and giggleberries on full display. Cassie has came up with something new. Calls me Daddy-O. (I have no idea where that came from but from my point of view its kinda refreshing to hear something new.) Addison is still the crazy girl and also insists on being naked.(We have to remind her clothes are not an option but a necessity) Ella the crazy will be twelve in almost two weeks. (I know I want to slap myself and scream "NO! Not my little girl stop growing.) Its kinda funny. Almost as if Rocky knew I was thinking of him he takes the PediPaw machine turns it on and puts it in his mouth then looks at me as if to say. "You want crazy I will give you crazy...and by the way I am trying to file my teeth so ...
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At Least Use Your Hands

I could write a book about my kids. After all they are the inspiration for this blog. Mind you it would be poorly written but light hearted. I have given examples of my crazy family and my antics conveyed through all four of my kids. Sometimes I think they are animals and my reactions to them are what really surprises me. This is one of those moments... Amanda, my lovely, beautiful wife, Rocky and myself are eating at a restaurant.(a guilty pleasure while the other kids are at school) Rocky the big boy likes to feed himself and we let him. No restraints for this kid. He is constantly moving about with food in his hands and all over me.( I don't remember eating that. How did macaroni get on my pants?) Rocky was eating his macaroni and I look over and he is lapping it up like a dog..... Yes, here it comes... "At least use your hands!!!!!" Really??? That actually came out of my mouth. Now I am sorry to cut it short but he is now putting his macaroni hands on the windo...
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Do I really look that stupid?

So this morning I was getting the kids ready for school. "What? No way!!! Not you wayne!" Yes me, hence my quirky title "Diary of a Stay-@-home Dad!" So this morning like many mornings when they think I am not paying attention, Cassie hits me with out of left field questions. I am sure this crazy girl expects me to swing and miss and catch myself up..... Not today junior. The question of the morning was. "Hey dad, you know some kids do things to try and get out of going to school. As a kid did you ever do something like that when you were my age???" Really??? Do I look that stupid? So what did I do? I lined that ball straight and smacked it as hard as I could and watched her tumble head of heels like Charlie Brown after he threw that pitch. Ironically enough she was half dressed when asking me this. I am just glad the questions are easy enough to hit....so far. Seriously though do I really look that dumb to my kids??? Have a nice day
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Mixed Emotions

Well it's hard to explain (yes, i have a big mouth and yes it is hard to explain)but today was the first day of school and my oldest three started back to school while Mister Rocky is going to be all alone during the day. I am happy and sad,like I said mixed emotions. It pulled on my heartstrings knowing Ella is going into the 6th grade.(aaaaaahhhhhhh, it's that age!!!!).  I love my kids and this time around was especially hard b/c as I said they are getting older. So what could I do....cry and shed a few tears!!! Nope!!! I told my two oldest I loved them as loud as possible and kissed them where everyone could see and have them be embarrassed. Yeah!!!! That will teach them to stop getting older!!! NOPE!!! NOT EVEN LIKELY. AT LEAST I KNOW I CAN EMBARRASS THEM. Parental fun!!!
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Age of Repitition

Sitting all by myseeeelllff.. Enough of that. I realized fully we are now in the age of repition. Yep that means no matter what it is we have to watch what comes out of our mouths. Yes, Rocky is a repeater. He's not a full-scale machine gun but he definitely has that irritating quality of a BB repeater. So cute on the outside but can certainly do a bit of damage. Rocky and I were watching wrestling. Yes, most of you know I love wrestling and luckily all four of my kids like it as well. We watch wrestling and the whole living room floor turns into our wrestling ring. Cassie is a complete technician. Ella would be the twisted valet that likes throw in a few pot shots. Addison is that wrestler that hides under something until everyone is tired and nearly passed out. Like a usual Diva she takes her bows and definitely isn't a gracious winner but I love her. Now on to the aforementioned Spider Monkey. He'll bite, scratch, claw, and punch. (See spider monkey is a good refere...
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There is Always Someone Else

Well I have talked about my lovely, horrible children but the only way they could have been possible is by...... My mom. (Ha, you thought I was going to say my wife didn't you?) I got to thinking about that shy lady in my life and how she and my wife have to deal with a lot and probably the only reason they haven't buried me in the back yard is due to those pesky morals. That lady could have killed me at any point in my life and most people know I deserved that and so much more. I do believe I owe everything to my parents. Even meeting my wife. No, they didn't introduce us but they pushed me to follow my dreams and my wife came around. Now I know it's not Mother's Day but I just was taught to give credit where it's due.
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